


Finding The Light

by LilyK



Category: The Sentinel
Genre: Alternate Universe, Drama, First Time, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-12
Updated: 2018-07-12
Packaged: 2019-06-09 04:12:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 19,023
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15259182
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LilyK/pseuds/LilyK
Summary: Hiding a trouble childhood and hyperactive senses, Jim Ellison's hard exterior keeps everything and everyone far away, especially any chance at love and romance. And Blair Sandburg's idealistic ideas of love and romance are put to the test. Inspired by the movie, Wild Orchid.





	Finding The Light

Blair Sandburg nervously rubbed his hands on his thighs before he rose from the crowded confines of his business class airplane seat. He hadn't even disembarked from the plane and already he felt out of sorts. With a wan smile at the small child behind him who had continuously kicked the back of his seat since they'd left Phoenix, Blair popped open the overhead compartment and retrieved his carry-on suitcase. The small suitcase bulged, overfilled because his larger suitcase had been ruined by the airline during the last trip he had taken and he hadn't had time to go shopping for another piece of luggage. Dropping his winter jacket over his arm, he made his way out of the plane, up the access ramp and into the terminal. 

Blair stopped and glanced around. He hadn't been in Cascade for five years, not since he'd defended his dissertation and became Dr. Sandburg, but that was a lifetime ago. Sure, he had been successful when he had lived in Cascade. Rainier University had provided him with a better than average education. He had attained his goals for the most part. He graduated with a Bachelor of Arts, went on to get his Master of Science Degree in Historic Preservation, and after a bit of a struggle, finally wrote his thesis on the intricacies and ramifications of rebuilding and revitalizing historic landmarks and landscapes. A dry subject, he knew, but something he felt passionate about. It was his passion that made him an excellent, sought-after consultant. He'd enjoyed his work as it dealt with the complex challenges of rejuvenating the historic main streets of cities and towns, revitalizing neighborhoods, preserving rural areas, and finding new uses for historic landmarks.

He loved museums, and Blair considered it an honor to be chosen to help new or renovated museums be fully aware of their rights concerning acquisitions, historic structures and any other aspect of renovation and rejuvenation of historic properties, and the proper housing of historic collections. He had started his career in Cascade, but at the first opportunity, he had moved away. Something about the city had never quite set right with Blair. He always felt – unfinished. Incomplete. Deficient. He grimaced. He'd always felt like something big was missing in his life. At first, he thought it was the locale, but after moving several times and searching – for what, he wasn't quite sure – for the past few years, he now knew it was a character flaw that he possessed. It wasn't physical, but emotional and, he rolled his eyes at himself in exasperation, spiritual. Still, being away from Cascade, he felt somewhat better, but never quite whole. He'd almost given up wondering why and coming to the realization that this was going to be the way he lived – almost. 

With a shake of his head and a firm scolding, he forced his thoughts away from his inner turmoil. Now was not the time to reminisce about the good old days in Washington. He had work to do. With a sigh, he followed the last stragglers toward the ground transportation area. There was to be a car waiting, he'd been informed. Someone would pick him up and show him his accommodations before the first scheduled meeting later in the day. 

Just when he cleared the restricted passenger area, the suitcase, which Blair was pulling behind him, ground to an abrupt halt. When he turned and glanced down, he noticed that one of the plastic wheels lay broken in three pieces. Irritated, he yanked on the handle. The case flipped over and the zipper track split open, spilling the contents onto the not-too-clean tile floor. With a grimace, Blair stood over the mess and sighed. 

"Great," he muttered. "Just great. This day is certainly off to a good start." Crouching down, he began stuffing the clothing and toiletries back into the case, wondering how he was going to carry the torn luggage without leaving a trail of underwear behind him when a pair of feet stopped in front of him. Then a large black hand started to hand him the last few runaway items. 

"Thanks," Blair said. 

"Are you Dr. Sandburg?" 

Blair cranked his neck sideways and looked up. And up. And up, until he finally reached the Samaritan's questioning face. "Yes," he said with a smile. The man was very large, well over six feet, and rather daunting from this angle. Blair rose quickly. 

The man nodded and held out a hand, giving Blair a pleasant smile. "Simon Banks. I'm from the museum." 

Blair extended his hand. "Blair Sandburg. How do you do?" 

"Very well. Better than you, apparently," Banks said with a small chuckle. "Nice to meet you. Don't worry about the suitcase. We'll find you a replacement." 

Blair sighed and shook his head before shrugging and giving Banks an apologetic grin. "Thanks. Sorry to be a bother." 

Simon looked into Blair's eyes. "You've come highly recommended, Doctor." 

"Thank you. I'm good at my job. I'm not usually this – disorganized." 

"No problem. It's probably jet lag. Let's get you settled." 

Blair nodded, feeling like a small child doing the wrong thing in front of a parent. "Thank you." 

"No need to keep thanking me, Doctor. If you get this deal through, that's all the thanks I'll need." Banks leaned down and easily picked up the broken suitcase, tucking it under a large arm. "Let me." 

"I'll do my best for the university. Thanks for carrying that." 

Banks gave Blair an amused sidelong glance, making Blair grin. "We've just met and I've already thanked you ten times and apologized five," he said with a roll of his eyes. 

Simon laughed. "You hungry?" 

"Starved!" 

"A man after my own heart. Airplane food sucks. Did they try to sell you one of those new packed lunches?" 

"Tell me about it. Right now I could eat just about anything." 

Simon laughed again and shifted the case under his arm into a more comfortable position. "Car's on the first level. How about seafood? I know a little place that has a very good lunch special every day." 

Blair nodded. "Sounds great! Lead on." 

"I think this is going to be the start of a beautiful friendship," Simon said in a terrible fake Bogart accent. 

Blair laughed, glancing around. The sky was overcast, as usual. He shrugged. "It's almost nice being back in Cascade." 

"Almost?" Simon questioned, moving the case under his left arm to fish his keys from his right jacket pocket. He hit the remote for the car's trunk. The lid of the Chrysler LeBaron two cars away popped open. He deposited the case in the trunk and closed the lid before turning to his new acquaintance. 

"Maybe I'll tell you about it one of these days." 

Simon chuckled and with a nod, said, "Let's have lunch. You'll need the energy for this afternoon." 

\------------------------------------------

"That was great!" Blair wiped his mouth on his napkin. "I miss the fresh seafood, living inland." 

Simon nodded, downing his last swig of beer. "Why did you leave Cascade then?" he asked. 

"It's a long story," Blair replied. "Boring, mostly." With a shrug, he added, "I liked Cascade, but it never felt like home." He leaned back and added, "I'd like to give the property a once over before the first meet, if that's possible. I like having the picture of the real thing in my head." 

Simon nodded as if he understood. "Let's get you checked into your hotel. Then we'll head on over to the site before the meeting with the sharks." 

Blair laughed, rising. "Sounds good." He reached into his pocket for his wallet, but Banks grabbed the check and shook his head. 

"On me." 

"You sure?" 

"Yeah, I have an expense account." He waggled an eyebrow, making Blair laugh. 

"Thank you." 

"No problem." 

"I need to use the men's room so I'll meet you out front." 

"Okay. I'll pay the bill." 

Nodding, Blair made a quick trip to the restroom before he made his way out into the overcast afternoon. He glanced to his right and saw Simon a few feet away talking to a man. Blair froze and literally held his breath. The newcomer was already staring directly at Blair, and instantly their eyes met. 

Simon was talking animatedly while the man, tall with very striking looks, short light brown hair, wide shoulders, slim torso, and dressed in an expensively cut dark blue suit, gave Simon a quick look and a nod before returning his gaze to Blair. When their eyes met again, his face was pleasant but unreadable. Blair felt as if the man held his own eyes captive by some invisible force. He couldn't have looked away if he wanted to. Frozen in his spot, his breath still on hold, his lungs started to burn. The light blue eyes of the newcomer widened very slightly before his mouth turned up in a faint smile. A hot flush crept up Blair's body and for a moment, he felt dizzy. He closed his eyes and swayed. 

"Doctor Sandburg?" Simon's strong hand clamped on Blair's elbow. "Blair?"

Blair's eyes slowly opened and after he sucked in a deep breath, he huffed it out, forcing a smile on his face. "Mr. Banks." 

"You okay?" 

Blair blinked slowly, considering carefully. He felt – okay. Kind of fuzzy, but okay. "Yeah, I'm good." 

Simon nodded to the man. "James Ellison, Dr. Blair Sandburg." 

Blair glanced once again into the now serious face of Simon's companion. Ellison gazed intently into Blair's eyes, his expression unreadable. He did step closer but still kept a good distance between them. He held out his hand and gave a curt nod. 

"Dr. Sandburg," Ellison said. 

The voice was perfect, Blair realized. Not too deep, but honey coated with a hint of coolness. Very controlled. "Blair, please," he responded, reaching out quickly to grasp the offered hand. The shake was firm and dry, and Blair felt the ridiculous urge to hold on. Ellison, however, had other ideas. After the briefest contact, he politely pulled his hand away and gave Blair a small smile. 

"Simon tells me you're a special consultant," Ellison said conversationally. 

Blair felt a sudden overwhelming attraction to the man. The reaction made him feel out of sorts, so he covered his nervousness with chatter. "Yeah, I deal with the complex challenges of rejuvenating historic sections of cities and towns, revitalizing decaying historic neighborhoods, and as with with this current endeavor, finding new uses for historic landmarks." 

"You're a lawyer then?" Ellison asked. 

"No, Mr. Ellison," Blair said with a small laugh when he realized that he had been in lecture mode. "Not at all. I'm the middle man between my client and the lawyers. I make sure everybody's on the up and up." 

"There's a big call for that?" Ellison asked, seeming genuinely interested. His intent look never wavered. "And please call me Ellison or Jim. Mister isn't necessary." 

Blair felt as if he and Jim were the only two people on the planet. Another silly urge struck. He had the need to move closer to the man, to reach out and touch, but from Jim's body language and abrupt handshake, he knew his advancement would be not only rude, but unwelcome. Grabbing hold of himself internally, he briefly wondered why he was so – antsy -- in this man's presence. Forcing his brain to function, he said, "Cool. Okay. Thanks, Jim. And there's not a big call, but enough that I'm usually busy. I'm one of the few museum consultants in the country." 

Jim's facial expression remained pleasant but Blair had the strangest notion that he knew exactly what Blair wanted to do, and that Blair was feeling awkward in his presence. 

Simon shifted impatiently. "I hate to interrupt but we have to get a move on if we're going to get you checked into the hotel and have a look around the property before the meeting, Doctor." 

"Oh, yeah. Right. Nice to have met you," Blair said with a smile. He again felt the ridiculous longing to move closer to the man. He was surprised at himself when he did take a small step closer, but Ellison immediately but casually backed up and began searching his pockets. 

He gave Blair a knowing glance. "Keys," he said, dangling the ring aloft for a moment. 

Blair froze, startled that he had dared invade the man's personal space when they had just barely met. 

"Same here, Doctor. Nice meeting you." Ellison did offer his hand, which Blair took with a spike of gratitude. He made sure he released the man's hand as quickly as politely possible. "Banks," Ellison added, shaking Simon's hand. "Good day." 

"Take it easy, Ellison," Simon responded. 

With a small salute to his forehead, Jim nodded. 

Blair watched the man's back until he disappeared around the corner. "Is he..." Blair clamped his mouth closed, blushing. 

"Doctor?" 

Shrugging, Blair shook his head. "Never mind. Sorry," he said softly. 

"He does that to people." 

Blair looked into Simon's face, his eyes questioning. "What?" 

"Ellison. He – attracts people. All people, if you get my drift. They want to get closer. They want to know him, but he's not the – mingling type." 

"Oh?" 

"He's a lone wolf, Doctor. Nobody's ever gotten close, at least that I know about. Hell, I've known the man for ten plus years and I don't know much about him, other than he's made millions in real estate. We worked together for three years at the Cascade PD way back when. We were both retired out because of personal reasons..." He shrugged. "He's a bit of a recluse." Then Simon sighed and put a hand on Blair's shoulder. "Want some friendly advice?" 

"Yeah, sure." 

"Stay away from him. He's an okay guy, but he –" Simon laughed. "You're an adult, so you do what you think is best. Just be careful. Okay?" 

"I doubt I'll meet him again." Blair shrugged, following Simon to his car. 

"You'll see him again." 

"Why's that?" Blair climbed into the front passenger seat and buckled his seatbelt. 

Simon shook his head and with a smirk, started the engine. "Let's call it a hunch." 

\------------------------------------------

Blair walked through the historic seven-story hotel with Simon trailing behind. "This is very well preserved," he mused aloud, making notes on the pad he carried in his hand. "Electrical wiring needs a bit of work." Another note. Wandering around the property for about an hour, Simon made a few helpful comments and answered his cell phone on occasion while Blair cast an expert eye over the structure. "Rainier will be able to expand its campus quite nicely if this deal goes through. Lots of room for offices and meeting rooms while still preserving the original floor plan." Blair started a new sheet of paper. "The leaded glass windows are original. Very nice." 

"The board of directors is very much for preserving Cascade's heritage. They're afraid if this property is sold to someone from out of the area, that the historical value to the community will be damaged. Even though an application has been made, this property hasn't been approved by the Historical Society yet, so any owner has pretty much free rein to do what they wish." 

"I'd hate to see the building razed. It's worth saving, I think." Blair made a few more notes. 

"I agree." 

Simon cell phone buzzed again. He glanced at the caller ID window before sighing. "It's always something. I need to take this." He hit the 'on' button and started to speak before he glanced at Blair. "Signal's fading. I'm going out by the car. Will you be okay on your own for a bit?" 

"Yeah, I'll be fine." Blair waved a hand haphazardly in Simon's direction, making him chuckle. 

"I'll catch up to you." 

"Right." 

Wandering through the hallway, Blair glanced out the window at the end of the hall. He'd noticed the abandoned apartment building on the next block adjacent to the old hotel when they'd first arrived. It was in much worse shape than the property he was currently inspecting. He'd asked Simon about the derelict property when they first parked. Simon had explained that Rainier was also interested in that property, but the owner was being elusive about his selling price. Simon figured that once the hotel property deal was closed, that the apartment building's owner might be more amenable to sitting down and negotiating. 

Blair's natural curiosity got the better of him, so he trotted down the nearest set of stairs and exited the building. He sauntered across the deserted street and walked around the west end of the abandoned building. Spying an opened door, he glanced left and right, making sure he was alone. Satisfied, he slipped through the door and walked into the murky foyer. 

The boards covering the windows weren't tightly fastened and enough light filtered through to guide Blair along. He glanced curiously into deserted rooms, observing the old wainscoting and channel molding along the ceilings. 

"Not bad," he mused aloud. He suddenly froze in his spot when he heard a noise. Thinking about rodents inhabiting the abandoned premises, he waited until he heard the noise again, followed by voices. He sighed with relief. He hated rats. Apparently, somebody else was lurking around the property. He briefly thought that they were trespassers, when he realized that he was also trespassing. With a laugh at himself, he quietly followed the sounds of the voices until he could see the source of the noise through a hole in one of the walls. 

Two men came into his line of vision. At first, Blair thought that one was mugging the other since one man was pressed against the wall while the other seemed to be doing – something to him. However, when he took a closer look, he realized that the look on the dark haired man's face – head thrown back against the wall, eyes closed and mouth open – was not a look of pain but of pleasure. Sweat ran down the first man's face in rivulets while the second man knelt in front of him and pleasured him with his mouth. 

Blair felt his face flush and he knew he shouldn't watch, but he couldn't help himself. He was drawn to the men, but at this moment, he didn't want to examine his own reasons for the fascination regarding what was happening in the next room. He forced his thoughts away from himself and back to the men. Why were they doing this in such an undesirable place? Were they hiding their relationship? Were they afraid of what their friends and family would say about a same sex relationship? Were they so desperate for each other that they spent their lunch hours in each other's arms? His own body started to sweat and he felt his heart flutter. Pressing a hand over his chest, he glanced once again through the hole. 

The standing man's mouth moved wordlessly, then he let out a small sound. His hips thrust forward but the kneeling man's hands clamped firmly on the naked flesh of his hips, forcefully pressing the buttocks against the wall. The receiver of the pleasure's hands scrambled to latch onto the giver's hair and he cried out aloud, obviously coming in his lover's mouth. Blair's body responded more forcefully. His own organ started to take interest, slowly filling with blood. Blair clamped a hand over his body, and he almost let out a squeak at the spike of pleasure he felt when he touched himself. 

Dragging his eyes back to the men, he put his free hand up to his mouth to stifle his cry. The man who had been kneeling was now standing. He was rolling a condom on his own erect penis and roughly spun the sated man around, pressing his chest onto the peeling wallpaper. He then leaned his body against his companion and spread his legs apart. Not speaking, the man bit his lover's earlobe, eliciting a cry from him. The first man then slapped his hands against the wall, crying out again. Blair shifted his position slightly and saw the reason for the cry. The second man's fingers were buried between the firm cheeks of the first man's ass. 

Blair bit down onto his own hand, leaving teeth marks. His palm ran down his now fully erect penis and he rubbed hard through his slacks. His gaze was focused drilled on the couple. The man pressed against the wall cried out again. His hands pounded against the thin sheet rock and Blair could see his hips thrusting against his companion's hand. He heard the giver of the pleasure chuckle, pressing an arm against the back of his lover's shoulders, holding him captive. He used the side of his body to keep his lover firmly in place, and he took what he wanted from the dark haired man. It was obvious to Blair that the receiver was loving the rough sex. His cries of pleasure came unbidden, and although no words were spoken, Blair could tell that he wanted more... 

Blair sucked in a shocked breath when his thoughts turned to his own desires, his own needs. More? Is this what he wanted? He wanted this? And more? More – what? He had never seen two men having sex before. Sure, he'd seen pictures, and he knew couples who were gay, but he had never even thought about wanting a male lover before. Never thought about the actual mechanics of it. With a roll of his eyes and a snort, he laughed at himself. 

"Hell, you barely have time for your job, let alone a relationship. You don't know what you want, do you? Do you even want a lover? When was the last time you had a date?" Blair mused under his breath, his erection fading slightly. "Better yet, when was the last time you had sex, or even masturbated?" 

A hoarse cry brought him out of his reverie. He looked at the couple from his vantage point and his mouth fell open. The second man was buried fully in his lover's body, and his hips pistoned roughly, pounding into the willing body of his companion. His mouth latched onto his lover's shoulder and he knew from the man's cry that the teeth found their mark. With a roar, the giver came, thrusting wildly. It seemed to Blair that the man buried in his lover never wanted the sex to end, and until the man's flaccid penis slipped free, he continued to pleasure his mate. 

Blair's hand once again found his renewed erection. He fiercely squeezed the head. The pain spiked and the hard-on receded quickly. Panting, he leaned against the wall, eyes still drilled on the couple. The man pulled off the condom and tossed it aside. He peeled his lover from the wall and wrapped an arm around the back of the man's neck, forcefully kissing him. His mouth devoured his companion while his hand captured the man's renewed erection. Kissing fiercely, he fisted the penis until his companion was shaking and spurting a smaller orgasm onto his lover's hand while his flailing hands scrabbled on his mate's muscled back. Only when the receiver's knees collapsed did the giver allow his companion to breathe. 

Blair's hand once again found his mouth. He should leave, run away. Maybe call the cops. This could be a rape. He started to pull away but something – a sound? – forced him back to his hole. The giver now held his companion in his arms. Soft words were spoken, hands petted and touched. Lips pressed against the sweaty forehead while the sleeve of a discarded shirt wiped gently down the face. The receiver's quiet voice answered while his hand caressed his mate. It wasn't rape. It wasn't even just sex. It was love. Blair could faintly hear the words. Whispered words of longing and desire and.… God, he wanted this. Wanted to be in love. Wanted to be loved. Realizing he was intruding on something very special that he could never have, he blushed deeply, turned and raced from the building. 

\-------------------------------------

Turning to look back over his shoulder, Blair let out a small cry when he plowed right into the arms of an unseen pedestrian. Strong hands clamped on his elbows and held him upright while his chest heaved. Trying to catch his breath, Blair's hands wrapped around the lower arms of the stranger. 

"Doctor Sandburg! It's me, Ellison. Calm down!" 

Blair blinked rapidly and gulped noisily. "Jim?" he rasped out. "Oh... Sorry... Give me... a sec..." 

"Take your time, Chief. Just calm down. Are you okay?" Jim's head cocked and he gave Blair a curious look. 

Blair nodded. "Yeah, I'm fine." He steadied himself on his feet and huffed out a cleansing breath. 

Satisfied, Jim quickly released his hold. "What's wrong?" he asked while his eyes flicked over Blair's face and body. 

"Nothing. Nothing's wrong. I..." Blair shrugged. 

Jim's voice lowered when he asked, "Something scare you, Chief?" 

Blair looked into Jim's eyes. He had the strangest feeling that Jim had seen or heard exactly what he had just witnessed. Not only that, but Blair knew that he had watched Blair watching the two lovers. Feeling trapped, he shook his head vehemently and repeated, "I'm fine. Really." 

"It's exciting, isn't it?" Jim said softly. 

"What?" Blair asked incredulously. "What's exciting?" 

Jim smiled knowingly and crossed his arms. His gaze held Blair's. "Life." 

Blair looked puzzled. "What?" he repeated. Jim laughed aloud, making Blair blush. He felt like the kid who had been caught with his hand in the cookie jar. His ire rose. "What are you doing here?" he demanded. 

Jim raised an eyebrow, looking amused. "I came to ask you to dinner." 

Blair's mouth fell open. "What? Why?" 

"Dinner. It's an evening meal often shared with other people. This particular dinner will take place at the restaurant of my choosing. Nine o'clock tonight. I'll have something suitable for you to wear sent to your hotel." 

Blair stood speechless. This incredibly sexy, drop dead gorgeous, not to mention incredibly rich man wanted to spend time with him? 

"I'll take that as a yes. Until tonight then." 

Blair felt his face blush. The way Jim's voice grew husky and he whispered the last three words made Blair feel as if he had just been asked if he would like a good fuck. He frantically searched for something to say, but his mind was frozen. He stood dumbfounded while Jim nodded, turned on his heels, crossed the street, climbed into the expensive black sports car parked at the curb, and not even further acknowledging Blair's presence, drove off. 

"Sandburg! Sandburg! Doctor!" 

Simon's voice finally registered, breaking Blair's stupor. He glanced across the street and waved. "Hey, Simon." 

Simon crossed the street and stood beside his new friend. "What's wrong? You look like you've seen a ghost. Did he bother you?"

Blair blinked stupidly. "Who?" 

"Ellison." 

"Oh." 

"He asked you out? You're seeing him again, aren't you?" 

Blair nodded. Simon shook his head in mild exasperation, making Blair shrug. "He asked me to dinner." 

"Did you accept?" 

"I guess so." 

Simon laughed, rolling his eyes. "Ellison is a force of nature." 

"Tell me about it." 

Shaking his head, Simon said, "Come on, then. We have work to do. Let's finish up so you have time to get ready for dinner." 

Blair stared down the street where Jim's car had long since disappeared. He again had a strange feeling; this one told him that tonight would be a once in a lifetime experience. Reining in his imagination before it started to run wild, he followed Simon. 

\-----------------------------------------

Blair stepped under the hard, hot spray of the dual showerhead in the large tiled shower enclosure. He shampooed his hair and took extra time conditioning the shoulder-length locks. Carding his fingers through the strands, he was finally satisfied with his efforts before moving onto his body. Using the vanilla-scented shower gel, he soaped himself thoroughly while thinking about his first day in Cascade. 

The meeting with the Rainier contingent and the attorney for the seller went smoothly. Blair was pleased with their progress. The final meeting and document signing was set for the day after tomorrow. Then he would be free to leave. He sighed. His feelings were in complete turmoil. 

James Ellison was the most desirable man he had ever met. "Fuck desirable man," he thought. "He's the most desirable person I've ever met." Why had the man made such an impact on Blair? He had no idea, and the more he tried to logically think out the reasons, the more confused he became. He sighed again. "Okay, Blair," he muttered aloud, "stop thinking and start feeling." 

It was harder than he realized. For the past ten years, his entire life had been filled with school and work. He rarely socialized, although he had a wide circle of acquaintances. The occasional beer at one of the local bars was about as social as Blair had been for years. The sporadic dating in college soon lost its appeal, and while he was as attracted to a beautiful woman as the next man, he had found himself searching his feelings a lot lately. He had decided that love and commitment must obviously have no place in his life since he hadn't been able to find these things yet, and he was already past thirty. Time to be realistic. Maybe he was destined to be alone. 

Climbing from the shower, Blair wrapped himself in a large bath towel. The soft terry caressed his body and as he rubbed the end of the towel over his wet limbs, his skin tingled with anticipation. He felt his body stir, and the image of James Ellison, standing on the sidewalk talking to Simon Banks, looking cool and attractive yet unattainable, appeared unbidden in his mind. He moaned softly, rubbing the terry on his groin. He heard the man's soft voice and his body responded. His penis filled while his breathing and respiration quickened. 

"Jim," he whispered, touching himself. He stroked himself once – twice – a third time before his eyes snapped open. "Oh, shit!" he growled, removing his hand. "This is so – sad! Geez, Blair, you are pathetic!" With a grimace at his runaway body, he ignored the hard-on and continued to quickly dry. 

Lathering, he shaved carefully. Patting a mild aftershave on his cheeks, he critically examined his face. The dark eyebrows accented his blue eyes, making them look even bigger. He hated that. Only women had such large, luminous eyes. He squinted and glared before he laughed at himself for his silliness. Fishing a large-tooth comb from his toilet kit, he made sure his hair was tangle free before he rubbed in a good bit of anti-frizz gel. With a smaller comb, he spread the concoction evenly before running his fingers through the strands so that the curls lay smoothly against his head and shoulders. With a satisfied glance, he brushed his teeth, then went to dress. 

Blair stood before the suit bag that hung on the back of the closet door. He hadn't yet looked at what Ellison had provided, and he felt very strange about having another man pick out his attire. With a shrug, he unzipped the bag. His fingers reached out and touched the sparkling white silk shirt. It clung to his fingers, and when he slipped the shirt on, it also clung to his chest like a second skin. It wasn't tight, but the material flowed down his body, molding itself to whatever lay underneath. Buttoning the long sleeves, the silk felt cool and soft against his skin. He sighed with contentment. 

Putting on his own black silk boxers, he retrieved the trousers from the hanger and stepped into them. The finely cut slacks fit him wonderfully. The length was just right. Wondering if he had shoes that would be appropriate, he finally saw the box at the bottom on the clothing bag. Opening it, he found finely-crafted black shoes, dress socks and a thin leather belt. Peering into the shoes' interior, he saw that they were exactly his size. Puzzled how Ellison could possibly know his precise measurements, he put on the socks before slipping into the shoes. They were about the most comfortable ones he had ever worn. 

Taking the final item from the bag, he put on the matching suit jacket. There was no tie, so he assumed that this wasn't a formal occasion. Tucking the shirt into his pants, he added the black belt to the loops before moving to look at himself in the full-length mirror. With a sharp intake of breath, he stared. He looked – nice. With a chuckle, Blair rolled his eyes. 

"You don't clean up too bad, Sandburg," he said with a laugh. Fidgeting with the sleeves of the jacket, he glanced at the clock on the bedside table. "Shit! I'm late!" Grabbing his wallet, he shoved it into a pocket, plucked his watch from the nightstand and yanked it onto his wrist before dashing out the door. 

Blair raced down the hallway and punched the elevator button for the lobby. Jim had said he would meet him in the bar at nine and there it was, ten after. Suddenly terrified that Jim wouldn't wait, Blair paced nervously. The elevator doors remained firmly closed and when he punched again, the floor indicator moved up only one level. 

"Hurry!" he ordered the inanimate object. When the indicator stayed on the 2nd floor, he raced to the stairs and clattered down the five flights quickly. Bursting through the door, he trotted toward the bar at the far end of the lobby, forcing himself to catch his breath. He made himself slow down. There was no way he was going to let Jim see the anticipation with which he was looking forward to the evening written on his face. He would look and act cool and collected. He managed to slow his breathing while he smoothed his jacket with trembling hands. 

With a pleasant look on his face, Blair entered the bar and stood in the doorway for a moment while his eyes adjusted to the darker diffused light. He took a step forward and almost as if they were linked by some sort of invisible radar, he immediately found himself staring into the eyes of James Ellison. 

Ellison sat on a bar stool facing the door with an elbow casually leaning back against the dark wood. He sipped a drink, but over the glass, his eyes held Blair's. The eyes spoke volumes. Blair could see the need, the hunger, the desire banked in the cool gaze. He was entranced, much like a small mouse who had been spied by a very large, hungry snake. He gulped again and shifted nervously, forcing himself to wait in his place. Let Ellison make the first move. 

With a small, knowing smile, Ellison rose and crossed the room. His walk was elegant and sleek, panther-like. It was the only way Blair could describe it while he waited riveted in his spot. A hunger flared. His tongue licked his lips and the small moan he heard was from his own mouth. His body grew hot for a moment before a cold flash coursed through him. When Jim reached his side, he leaned down and while being careful that they did not touch, he whispered into Blair's ear. 

"You are incredibly beautiful." 

Blair blushed hotly. "Ah... Thanks." 

"That suit looks marvelous on you. Your body was made for fine material." 

"Jim, please..." Blair's face reddened even further. 

Jim straightened up and gave Blair a dazzling smile. "You're not used to compliments, I see. I don't know why not, since you are one of the most attractive people I've ever had the pleasure of watching." 

"Thanks," Blair said again in a small voice. 

"Are you hungry?" 

Wondering if Jim was referring to a hunger for food, or for something else, Blair nodded and smiled tentatively. "Thanks for the clothes." 

Jim inclined his head slightly. "You're welcome. They suit you." 

"Would you like to take them off me?" Blair blurted out before he blushed yet again and clamped a hand over his mouth. "I'm so sorry!" he mumbled between his fingers. Backing up a step, he planned on making a fast exit, embarrassed beyond belief, but Jim's silky voice stopped him. 

"Blair, wait." Blair stopped, but kept his eyes averted. Jim continued, "Don't." 

"Don't?" Blair asked very quietly. 

"Don't go. Please." 

"That was – incredibly rude." 

"I found it – incredibly erotic." 

Blair's eyes found Jim's. He searched carefully, but saw nothing but interest in the clear blue depths. "Erotic? It was –” 

Now Jim's tongue flicked out and he licked his lips provocatively. Blair's words dried up when Jim said, "Don't you ever just wish you could do whatever you wanted? To hell with rules and social amenities and laws. Just follow your feelings and desires, and tell the rest of the world to fuck off?"

"Oh, man. All the time!" 

Jim laughed. It was the first time Blair heard his full, deep laugh, and the sound went straight to his heart. It made him feel warm and happy. It caressed his soul. He couldn't help but smile. 

Jim waved a hand toward the door. "My car's waiting." 

Blair looked at Jim for a brief moment before he made a decision. "Okay." 

Jim nodded with obvious pleasure at Blair's acquiescence and led the way through the lobby to the waiting vehicle. 

\-----------------------------------------------

Jim guided Blair through the large smoky glass doors of the exclusive establishment. While Jim didn't physically touch Blair, Blair could "feel" Jim's presence as readily as if Jim were pressing his hand in the small of his back. With a glance at the area over the door, Blair realized that other than a large number, 775, the restaurant that Jim had mentioned had no name. Puzzled, Blair walked a half a step in front of Jim, pushed forward by the man's very proximity. They crossed the large foyer toward another set of glass doors. A doorman nodded, smiled and opened the door for the men. Blair nodded his thanks and walked through.

The men stopped at the top of the stairs that lead down into the main part of the club. Blair stood transfixed. The room was beautiful. Large live plants decorated the area as well as many painted and tapestry-covered screens. Tables were scattered amongst the decor, strategically placed so that a diner could chose a table from which to observe the room, or a table offering privacy. None of the tables sat more than two, so the idea seemed to be that this was for pairing off. Silently, waiters faded in and out, almost invisible, it seemed. The lighting was low enough to cut the glare, but bright enough so that if someone wished to be seen, they could arrange for that situation. The music was intoxicating. The rhythm had an undercurrent of a seductive Latin beat and was just the right tempo for close and slow dancing while still inviting bodies to move to the beat. The music went straight into Blair's body and he unconsciously start to sway in time to his heartbeat which the tune seemed to reflect. 

Jim leaned down behind Blair and said softly, "This way." He elegantly gestured toward his left where the maitre d' waited patiently. When Blair glanced at the silent man, the man nodded and smiled pleasantly. 

"Sorry," Blair said. 

The man remained silent, but with a sweep of his hand, wordlessly asked Blair to follow him. Blair returned the signal with a nod and followed the tuxedoed man to their table. 

"Melomel, please," Jim said to the man once they were seated. "Something from one of the local vintners. And a mixed plate of delicacies. Bring your best. I'll leave the choices up to you. Just be sure they're the freshest you have." 

"Yes, sir. I'd be delighted to choose, sir." 

Jim smiled at Blair. "I like to give the local establishments my business. Most wines tend to be too fussy for my simple palate." 

Blair looked puzzled. "You ordered mead? I didn't realize people still made it. It's an ancient drink, considered an aphro..." With his voice trailing off, he blushed and looked away. 

Jim smiled. "You'll enjoy this, I'm sure." Then he leaned back in his chair and fell silent. 

Blair looked at Jim intently for a moment, wondering exactly what was going on in his mind and why he had asked Blair to dinner, before he finally took stock of his surroundings. He started to notice small things. There was no silverware on any of the tables, although the table linens were brilliantly white and very clean, as was the rest of the room. He noticed that at tables where people were eating, they used their fingers to partake. Some of the couples were openly feeding each other. On the tables were small bowls that he saw the diners dipping their fingers into before wiping them on over-sized linen napkins. He fidgeted in his seat and had decided to ask Jim about a menu and the food when the waiter reappeared with a large tray. 

The man set the tray on a nearby tray caddy. First, he brought over the crystal decanter, which held a golden liquid, along with two etched wine glasses. He poured a glass for each man, and carefully set the glasses within easy reach. He then placed two linen napkins on the table, along with a small, crystal plate. With a smile and a nod at Blair, who looked at the waiter with interest, he turned and retrieved two platters, which he placed in the center of the table. The last thing the man did was to place a small bowl at each man's place. These were the same bowls that Blair had noticed on the other tables. He watched with curiosity as the waiter poured what appeared to be water into each of the bowls before he placed the container from which he poured the water on the table also. The light scent of roses wafted from the small bowls. 

"Enjoy," the waiter said before he turned and gathered his serving tray to leave. 

"Dig in," Jim invited, lifting his wine glass and lightly sipping the sweet nectar. "Pear," he noted. "Very nice." 

Blair's eyes grew wide when he perused the two platters. The intent was obvious at first glance. He was an anthropologist, after all. He'd studied the sexual practices and social conventions of   
many societies. Again, he felt a bit embarrassed as he gazed at the food. Each type was attractively nestled in its own section, elegantly arranged to invite one to sample. Blair's mouth watered while his nose enjoyed the delicious aromas. But in spite of the elegant presentation, he knew the foods presented to him were considered aphrodisiacs by many cultures. He briefly wondered why Jim would want to ply him with foods that would enhance his libido. His first thought was that Jim planned on seducing him. With a grin at the thought, Blair exchanged glances with his host. Jim seemed oblivious to Blair's observations of him and their surroundings, but Blair had a feeling that Jim's ambivalent exterior was a facade. 

After a few moments, Blair's stomach growled. With a smile to himself, he returned his attention to the food, deciding what he would try first. 

Oysters on the half shell. Slices of fresh avocado dusted with freshly ground pepper and a drizzle of a dark liquid. Handmade chocolates, both light and dark. Asparagus spears also coated with some sort of dressing. A pate spread on small points of toast. Fruit: strawberries, raspberries and blackberries so fresh they looked just picked. A plate of small cakes. 

"Help yourself," Jim coaxed. 

Blair took a sip of the golden liquid. "Wow. This is amazing. I've never had anything quite this smooth on my palate. It's wonderful." 

Jim nodded and smiled. He seemed to be enjoying watching Blair, so Blair felt a bit of his anxiousness about the reason for the seduction dinner abating. He reached out to take an oyster shell. Sliding the slick food into his mouth, he chewed cautiously. 

"I've never had oysters before." 

"Never, Chief?" Jim asked. 

"No, never." 

"Did you like it?" 

"Yes, very much." 

"Good. There's a first time for everything," Jim said seductively and pointedly. 

Blair's eyes caught Jim's, who smiled. "First time?" 

"For everything," Jim echoed. With a gentle laugh, he nodded at the platter. "Eat, Sandburg." 

To Blair, it was almost an order. Given softly and alluringly but still, the tone held a hint of directness. With a shrug, Blair worked his way around the platter, trying each item in turn. The sauce on the avocado turned out to be made with balsamic vinegar, giving the fruit a wonderful flavor. The pate was delicious but he couldn't quite decide from what it was made. He licked his lips and looked at Jim questioningly. 

"Truffle," Jim said. 

"Cool. Delicious. Another first time," Blair said, his voice husky. "I love new experiences." He decided that two could play the game and even though he wondered if he was getting himself into trouble, he dismissed the idea with a mental shrug. He wanted new experiences, so he forged ahead. 

Next he tried one of the little cakes. Banana, he discovered, with pine nuts mixed in. And the chocolates also contained nuts. Almonds, he realized. With a glance at Jim, he saw that he was being closely watched. It was obvious that Jim was enjoying watching Blair eat. Feeling a bit uncomfortable at the man's intense scrutiny, Blair dipped his fingers into the water bowl and carefully wiped them on a napkin. Sipping his second glass of mead, he leaned back and asked, "You're not eating?" 

Jim shook his head. "I never eat in public." 

"Oh? Why's that, man?" 

"Personal preference." 

"Then you don't know what you're missing. The food is wonderful." 

"I'm not missing a thing," he answered, his voice low and full of innuendo. 

Blair raised an eyebrow. "But you're not tasting this fantastic food. It's a lot different experiencing it for yourself. Did you know that everything on the table is considered an aphrodisiac by some cultures, Jim?" Blair looked at the amusement in Jim's eyes. Blair blushed yet again. He was quickly growing tired of constantly feeling as if Jim was playing him for the inexperienced virgin that he was. Unfairly assuming that Jim had somehow found out this private information and was now using it to tease him, he bristled. "Of course you did," he groused. "I think I'd like to go." He started to rise. 

Jim rose quickly. "Blair... I'm sorry. Did I do something to upset you?" 

Blair's gaze met Jim's. He studied the light blue eyes for a long minute, searching for signs of deception, but Jim seemed genuinely puzzled. He shook his head. "Sorry, man. Long day. I'm just a bit jet lagged." He sat back down. "Sorry," he repeated. 

Jim nodded and sat also. "Don't worry about it, Chief. Let's relax and enjoy the music for a while, then I'll take you back to your hotel. Sound good?" 

"Yeah, man, that sounds great. Thanks." 

Jim returned Blair's dazzling smile with a pleasant one of his own. "Do you like the music?" 

Blair nodded. "Yeah, it's kind of – captivating. The beat crawls up your back. It makes you want to move your feet." He glanced out onto the dance floor, seeing couples wrapped in each other's arms while the music continued its slow magnetic beat. "Do you dance?" he asked hopefully, noticing several same sex couples that were enjoying the music also. 

"I'm afraid not." 

"Why not?" 

Jim shrugged. "Personal preference." 

"Oh, yeah. Right." Blair sipped his drink, thinking about Jim's general behavior. He was friendly but kept his distance. He refused to eat in public. He seemed to be studying Blair intently, but whenever Blair noticed, he immediately tried to distract him. He was very careful not to touch anybody, but he seemed to need to be close. At least Blair felt that Jim wanted to be close to him, even if he didn't want to touch him. It seemed that Jim was content to sit back and observe. Blair mulled these facts over when Jim's voice broke his deep thoughts. 

"Chief." 

"Yeah?" 

Jim smiled down at him. "You were a million miles away." 

"Oh. Sorry." That was when he noticed that Jim was standing because an attractive woman had arrived at their table. She likewise smiled at him. 

"Excuse me," Blair said, rising. 

"No worries," the tall, dark-haired woman said in an accented voice. "Dance with me?" 

Glancing at his companion, Blair shook his head. "I'm not sure –” 

"Go and dance, Sandburg," Jim ordered. 

"What?" Blair responded, puzzled. 

Jim nodded toward the dance floor. "Go and dance with the lady." 

"But Jim –” 

"No buts, Chief. Go." 

"You sure?" 

Jim gave a small smile. "Not only am I sure, I insist." 

"All right. Okay," Blair answered, feeling awkward but not sure how to politely escape the situation. Glancing into the woman's face, he smiled and held out a hand. "I'm Blair." 

"Meg," she said simply, taking his hand and clamping cool fingers around his. 

Blair led the tall woman to the dance floor where she immediately wrapped long arms around his neck and pressed her body against his. With a nervous glance, he noticed that the other dancers were too intent to notice them. Each couple seemed to be lost in some private world. Eyes were closed; mouths partly open. He looked up into the woman's eyes. She looked down into his and smiled, licking her lips. Pressing her lips to his ear, she whispered, "I want you. Now." She pushed her pelvis into his body. "Please." 

Blair closed his eyes. The woman's scent invaded his nostrils. Her voice filled his ears. Her heat caressed him. His body responded. She laughed deeply. "I see you're amenable to the idea." She moved her hand quickly, holding his crotch and squeezing. 

Blair blushed deeply. "Please..." He looked for an escape avenue. He was hot and uncomfortable, and he squirmed in her tight clutch. "I don't think –” His eyes searched for Jim. He met the hot ice blue gaze from across the room. Jim's mouth was partly open; his eyes heavily lidded. Jim minutely lifted his head and Blair could actually see him sniff the air. Stunned, Blair ignored Meg's heavy-handed seduction and intently watched his companion. The thought slammed into Blair's brain: Jim was feeling through him. He shook his head, trying to rid himself of the ridiculous notion, but another glance at Jim confirmed what he had felt. And now he knew that there was absolutely no doubt about it. The man was using him to feel! 

Blair searched his mind again, putting together the facts. If the man was afraid to allow himself to feel, to touch, to taste, so much so that he forced himself to live through another, what was the problem? What was going on? Did he have some emotional troubles or physical? With his mental health? Or maybe with his – senses? 

"Excuse me," Blair said, swiftly moving back out of Meg's embrace. Caught off guard, Meg stood looking blank for a moment, giving Blair the means for a quick escape. "Thanks." He fled the dance floor. 

\-----------------------------------

Hastily entering the men's room, Blair smacked right into a man exiting. "Sorry," he muttered, stepping back abruptly. 

"No problem," the man responded. His hand reached out and touched Blair's sleeve. "Are you okay?" 

Blair looked into the handsome face. "Yeah, fine." 

"If you're sure," he said sincerely. "It's a shame to see a gorgeous man like you looking upset." 

"Ah, thanks." 

"Of course. Any time," he said with a voice full of insinuation, with invitation. "I'm here most evenings. If there's anything I can do..." He allowed his voice to trail off deliberately, giving Blair an opening should he want or need it. 

Blair looked into the warm brown eyes. There was something very gratifying to be suddenly the center of so much attention. Maybe he wasn't as average as he'd always thought. Maybe he needed to spread his wings and stop being so tentative about sexual experimentation. Maybe... But not tonight. His emotions were too confused tonight. He smiled. "Thanks. Another time maybe?" 

"I'd be delighted." The man smiled before stepping aside. "Good evening." 

"Same to you." Blair waited until the man left before he raced over to the sink and ran cool water, splashing his face. He felt a little better after a few moments. 

"Chief?" 

Blair picked a clean hand towel from the basket on the counter and wiped his face and hands before meeting Jim's eyes in the mirror over the sink. "I'm really tired. Could you take me back to the hotel?" 

"Sure, Sandburg." 

"Long day." 

"Come on. Let me take you home." Jim held the door and waited, following Blair closely. 

The cool night air felt good against Blair's overheated body. He slipped into the passenger's seat of Jim's car when the valet opened the door, leaning back against the headrest, closing his eyes. It had been an interesting, but trying evening. He remained silent until they reached his hotel. Jim pulled into the entryway and the bellman opened Blair's door. 

Blair turned to Jim. "Thanks. It was great. I enjoyed the evening." 

"Chief, you don't have to express platitudes to me." 

Blair sighed. "Listen. I'm just – confused. You asked me out to dinner, which I accepted. You then take me to a place that is obviously meant for – seduction. Let's face it, there's no other way to describe it. Then you practically push me into somebody else's arms." Blair crossed his arms. "If I'd wanted somebody else, I wouldn't have gone with you. It's just too – weird, Jim." Blair rubbed his hands down his face before he turned in his seat. "I like you, Jim. There's something... I can't be... Oh, hell. Good night." 

Not giving Jim a chance to respond, Blair leapt from the car and raced into the hotel. He didn't turn around to notice Jim watching intently until he disappeared from sight.

\----------------------------------------------

When the telephone beside Blair's bed rang at 7 am, he groaned. 

"Yeah?" he said grumpily into the receiver. 

"Still asleep, Chief?" said the friendly voice. "How about a hike?" 

"What? Jim?" Blair rubbed his eyes. "Where are you?"

"In the lobby. Waiting for you. Get dressed." 

"Jim, man, I just got to bed two hours ago!" 

"Oh?" was the amused response. "Rough night?" 

Blair rolled his eyes. "I had trouble sleeping." 

"Get into your jeans and hiking boots. It's a beautiful day." 

Blair sighed. "I'd love to, but I have a meeting with the sellers and the lawyers at four." 

"That gives us plenty of time. I'll have you back by three. What do you say?" 

"Give me a half an hour." 

"I'm leaving in fifteen minutes." 

"Dick," Blair muttered. 

"I'm waiting, Chief." 

"Yeah, yeah. I'll be down in fifteen minutes. You'd better have coffee." 

Jim laughed. "It's a deal, Sandburg." 

Blair was grinning when he hung up. He slipped from the bed and searched through his bag for jeans. He didn't have hiking boots, but he had tossed in a pair of sneakers, so he snagged them, clean socks and underwear, a t-shirt and the jeans. Jumping into the shower, he bathed in record time, skipped the shave, brushed his teeth, dressed and grabbed his jacket on the way out the door. 

"Fourteen minutes and ten seconds," Jim said with a glance at his watch. "I'm impressed." His eyes flicked over the wet hair that was pulled back into a ponytail. 

Blair saw the amused look. "Don't say a word." He glared, reaching for the Starbucks takeout cup that Jim held out. "You're lucky it's the good stuff. Full strength?" 

Jim laughed. "Of course. Come on. It's a beautiful day." 

Blair muttered, "There's something not natural about being so cheerful at this time of the morning." 

Jim laughed again. "I'm an early riser, Sandburg. Besides, I thought you might enjoy communing with nature." 

Blair rolled his eyes. "Lead on, Livingston." 

"Your chariot awaits," Jim quipped. "And I brought you a treat." 

Curiosity aroused, Blair followed Jim out the main doors and over to an old but beautifully kept blue and white truck. "Where's the Corvette?" 

"The 'Vette isn't exactly good for traveling in the woods. This is my back-to-nature vehicle, Chief. You hungry?" 

"Famished!" 

"I brought you a treat – fresh biscuits." 

Blair's mood brightened considerably in spite of the early hour. "Great! I love biscuits." 

Jim unlocked Blair's door and when he jumped in, he placed a warm sack on his lap. "These are made by a special friend of mine. It's a secret recipe. Enjoy." 

Blair dove into the bag. He bit into the still-warm biscuit and moaned appreciatively. "Oh, man," he mumbled around a mouthful of food, "these are heavenly! Want one?" 

Jim's nostrils flared. He glanced sideways at Blair as he cranked the ignition. "No, thanks. You eat to your heart's content." 

Blair gave Jim a curious glance before he shrugged. "Your loss." He munched happily, sipping the hot coffee between bites. Four biscuits later, he wiped his mouth on a paper napkin and carefully closed the bag to keep crumbs from escaping into the truck's clean interior. Draining his coffee cup, he leaned back and let out a contented sigh. 

"Good?" Jim asked solicitously. 

"Wonderful. Thanks." After placing the empty cup and bag on the floor for disposal later, he turned in his seat belt. "Where are we going?" 

"I thought we'd get out of Dodge for a while. There's a great fishing lake near Clayton Falls." 

"I love fishing." 

Jim smiled. "I'm glad." 

The drive passed quickly while the men talked about fishing, basketball, anthropology, and real estate. Blair was almost sad when they arrived at the lake because he was enjoying getting to know Jim better. He glanced out over the water and surrounding area with appreciative eyes. 

"Wow. This is beautiful." 

"One of my favorite places. Away from the city." 

Blair nodded. "I'm down with that, man. It's quiet and clean and relaxing." 

Jim smiled. "Come on. Let's walk around the lake before we catch lunch." 

\----------------------------------------------

Jim insisted on personally preparing the fish they'd caught. He didn't explain other than to say that he liked cooking in the rough, but Blair knew better. He realized that Jim didn't trust anybody else to prepare his food. It was definitely strange, and he filed away the thought for later perusal. 

He had to admit that the fish was delicious. Jim had brought along all of the ingredients for a wonderful fried fish dinner, complete with herbs and spices, a cold vegetable salad, some crusty rolls, and several bottles of spring water. 

Blair sipped from the bottle that Jim handed him before he looked at the label. It was marked "Ellison Spring Water". Puzzled, Blair asked, "Jim, do you own your own bottling plant?" 

Jim nodded. "Yes." 

"Man, I can't decide if that's very cool or very weird."

Jim shrugged. "I like to know where anything I'm putting in my body comes from. I bought the bottling plant a couple of years ago." 

"Do you want to tell me why you don't eat out or why you feel the need to own your own spring?" 

Jim looked directly at Blair and said, "No." His face conveyed clearly that the subject was closed. 

"Jim, I like you a lot, which is why I'm going to take a leap here and ask if there's anything you'd like to talk about. You know, anything you think you should tell me about – yourself." 

Jim rose. He wiped his hands on his jeans while he stared down at Blair. Then he turned and wordlessly walked away. 

Blair threw up his hands. "Sorry! Jim, I'm sorry! I just –” 

Jim stopped and without turning, he said coldly, "Just because I like your company, Sandburg, doesn't mean I'm going to allow you to interfere with my life. Are we clear on this?" 

Blair sighed. "I just want..." 

Jim turned. "Want what, Sandburg?" 

"Hell, Jim. I don't know. I feel – good with you. I like you." 

"I like you too. So let's just enjoy the rest of the day." 

Blair slowly nodded. He had a feeling that if he didn't immediately back off, Jim would pack him into the truck and take him back to his hotel without any further explanations, and that it would definitely be the last time Jim spoke to him. Unwilling to lose the beginnings of this relationship, and feeling that his heart was already becoming entangled, he smiled. "Okay, Jim."

Jim finally smiled in return. "Good. Now how about some dessert?" 

\----------------------------------------------

Back in his hotel by seven, Blair sighed tiredly. He started the shower and turned on the water to hot. He needed to work out some of the stiffness from sitting around the conference table for almost three hours. And he was starving! He ordered room service and while he waited for his dinner, he took a quick shower. Dressed in comfy sweats, he ate his dinner before falling onto the bed with two pillows propped behind his head. He hit the remote for the television, and settled on an old black and white detective movie. It wasn't long before he was asleep after his long day. 

In the morning, Blair had a quick breakfast in the hotel's dining room. He had barely finished when his cell phone rang.

"Sandburg? Simon Banks." 

"Good morning, Simon." 

"Did you sleep well?" 

"Fine, thanks." 

"Say, that inconsistency in the title report won't be corrected until Monday. The courthouse is closed today for a holiday, and they're not open over the weekend, of course." 

Blair felt his face break into a smile. That meant he'd have a very good reason for remaining in Cascade for at least four more days. Usually, delays were irritating, but this one was most welcome. 

"Oh, hey, don't worry about it. I'm enjoying being back in my old stomping grounds." 

"Thanks, Sandburg. You're taking this well. Rainier will pick up the extra room charges, of course." 

"Thank you." 

"You need anything?" 

"No. I rented a car so I think I'll reacquaint myself with the town today." 

"Enjoy. I'll let you know what time we'll sign the paperwork on Monday as soon as I know." 

"Okay, Simon. Have a good weekend." 

"You too, Sandburg. 

With a smile, Blair returned to his room. He spent an hour reviewing his files, making sure his paperwork was in order before he decided to take a drive. He guided the rental car to the block on which the abandoned office building was located; where he had seen the lovers meet on his first afternoon in Cascade. He sat at the curb for a long while looking at the deserted building. The urge was strong to get out and go to see if the couple was once again having a rendezvous. Irritated at himself for entertaining the thought, Blair finally forced himself to drive away. 

After driving aimlessly for about an hour, he made his way to the Cascade Pier. He remembered the pier from his college days, and today, he needed some place where he could walk and think. Besides, Cascade was enjoying a sunny day and he wanted to soak up some rays. He missed the heat and dryness of Phoenix, but Cascade did hold some interesting things that made him glad he was here. 

Parking the car, Blair stood with his hands in his pockets for a few moments before his feet started to move. He wandered around the pier for a couple of hours, thinking about Ellison. As much as he tried to add up everything in his head, the answers still came up short. Something was missing... 

He had a couple of hot dogs and a soda, and after walking for a while, he bought a chewy, salty pretzel from one of the vendors and sat on a bench overlooking the ocean, watching people fishing from the pier. He sniffed the air. The tang of the salt tickled his nose. He blinked in the mid-afternoon light, admiring the sun glinting off the small waves, and enjoying the feel of the sun's warmth against his skin. As the tide receded, his eyes picked out a few seashells left behind in the water's race to the other side of the planet. Squinting toward the horizon, he saw a large cargo ship slowly entering port, keeping well inside the buoys that guided the vessel safely to anchor. 

Leaning back and crossing his ankles, Blair shoved his hands into his jacket pocket and considered his own body. Senses were a wonderful thing. He could see, hear and smell everything going on around him. He could still taste the residual mustard he had smeared on the pretzel he had eaten little while ago. Flexing his fingers, he felt his palm rub against his fingertips. With a start, it hit him. Senses. He suddenly remembered his research days as an undergrad. He'd been quite enamored with hyperactive senses and Sir Richard Burton's theories on tribal sentinels. He'd been so enthralled with the very idea of a modern sentinel that he considered the subject for his thesis when he entered graduate school, but try as he might, he couldn't find enough new material to research or a live subject to study. 

Chewing on his lower lip, he vaguely remembered getting a fax from an old girlfriend, who worked as a nurse at Cascade Hospital. Some guy had come into the ER complaining about symptoms that sounded very much like the heightened senses he had explained to her on one of their dates. He'd meant to follow up, but try as he might, he couldn't remember why he didn't. "Too late now, Einstein," Blair muttered unhappily before thinking once again about Jim Ellison. 

Jim's senses... Something was up with Jim's senses, he was sure. But what? He thought about Jim's behavior once again. Were Jim's senses more acute than most people? Blair sat up straight and added up the personality traits he'd exhibited so far. To Blair, it seemed very likely that he could have one or more hyperactive senses. That would account for the reluctance to touch, the dislike of eating in strange places, the way the man seemed to observe, but not join in. Then he thought about the notion he had the past few days that Jim was using him to "feel" through him. If Jim's senses were heightened, could he actually be sensing what Blair had been experiencing? Hell, he could actually be smelling Blair's responses to different stimuli. 

Blair rose quickly. Worse, he could have been eavesdropping on Blair. He could have heard everything Meg had said that night at the club. And the conversation with the guy in the men's room. Blair clenched his fists. Jim could be using him for his own pleasure because he was too much of a coward to experience life for himself. 

"That's not fair," Blair muttered aloud. It could be painful to touch. It could be unpleasant to eat food that he hadn't prepared himself, not knowing what spices or ingredients were used, or how fresh it was. "Wow," he said softly. "It could be that if he doesn't control everything in his environment, that he'd be bonkers." Blair quickly walked toward his rental car. 

Fifteen minutes later, Blair was ensconced in front of a computer at the Rainier University library, refreshing his memory about heightened senses. After several hours of study, he had pages of notes and a new respect for any one who had even one heightened sense. If Ellison had two or more, the very fact that the man functioned daily was a miracle. Sentinels. Guardians of the tribe and its members. A modern Sentinel would be a rare find, indeed. 

Excited, Blair thought further about James Ellison. Did he have the right to trespass into what might very well be painful territory to the man? Was he interested only because of the scientific value, or did he feel something more for Jim? He searched his feelings very carefully before coming to the conclusion that he was very interested in Jim. He was attracted to the man from the first moment he'd laid eyes on him, and he would be interested in exploring a relationship if Ellison were so inclined himself. He finally admitted that he felt himself drawn to Jim, physically as well as emotionally. And he felt really and truly comfortable in Cascade for the first time in his life. The reason for his sense of well-being was definitely Jim Ellison. 

Considering what his next step would be, Blair glanced at his watch. Quarter past seven. The library closed in fifteen minutes, so he gathered his papers and drove back to his hotel. He would shower and change into something nice, then he would go to the same club to see if he could find Jim. For once, he would take the first step, and risk his heart to find out if the man felt the same interest as he did. 

\--------------------------------------

Wearing his best suit, Blair nodded a thanks to the doorman and walked down the steps leading to the main dining/dancing area. He glanced around quickly, but when he didn't find the object of his search, he went over to the bar and sat down. 

"Sir?" 

"Beer, please. Draft." 

"Yes, sir." The frosty glass was quickly filled and placed in front of Blair on a small coaster. 

"Thank you." Sitting sideways on his stool, Blair sipped the cold liquid while his eyes searched the room. He didn't see the man who approached from behind until he was standing directly behind him and spoke. 

"Good evening." 

Blair swiveled on his seat. "Oh, hello." The man whom he had run into in the men's room on his first visit to the club smiled warmly. 

"May I buy you a drink?" 

Blair's eyes flicked over the club once more. "Ah... sure. Thanks." 

"Good," the handsome man said, sitting beside Blair. "I'm Rafe." 

"Blair." 

"Scotch and water," Rafe told the bartender, "and another beer for my friend." Then he turned to Blair and added, "So you're back, I see." 

"Yes." Blair looked over his shoulder. "I... I don't want to seem rude, but I am looking for someone." 

"Then you've found him," Rafe said invitingly. 

"The man I was with the other night..." Blair shrugged. 

"He's a fool." 

"Why's that?" 

"Because he let you come here alone." 

"He doesn't know I'm here." 

Sipping his drink, Rafe's eyes met Blair's. "Then he's a bigger fool than I first thought. You're much too beautiful to let wander out alone, especially to a place like this." 

"Oh?" Blair raised an eyebrow. "And why is that?" He took a sip of beer to cool the blush he felt creep up his face at Rafe's open admiration. 

Leaning closer, Rafe said, "Because I want you. You are perfect. Your mouth is seductive. Your eyes are amazing. Your body makes me hard." 

Blair choked on his beer. Rafe lightly patted his back until Blair caught his breath. But instead of moving his hand, Rafe's fingers rubbed a comforting circle against his shoulder blade. 

"My room?" Rafe asked simply. 

Blair leaned into the hand for a brief moment before he quickly moved away from the enticing touch. "N – no," he stammered. "I – don't –” 

"You don't...?" Rafe looked puzzled for a moment before his eyes widened and his face broke into a huge smile. "You're a virgin!" he whispered. "To just men?" 

Blair turned away, his face hot with embarrassment. 

The man's observant eyes widened. "Oh, my. Both sexes! You really are a virgin then! How marvelous!" Rafe leaned closer. "Don't be embarrassed! It's wonderful. I would be honored to be the first. I swear, I won't hurt you nor will I do anything that you don't want. I will treat you like the rare jewel you are, Blair." Rafe's voice was low and clear and very kind. His hand once again moved and he lightly touched the small of Blair's back. "We will take every precaution, if that's what you're worried about." 

"No, it's just –” Blair actually felt Jim's presence before he saw him. His body knew that Jim was close before his eyes did. He felt a hot surge of pleasure that brought him to his feet. He turned and his eyes found Jim's instantly. They stared at each other across the room. 

Jim stood at the top of the stairs, looking cool and unattainable in a black linen suit, royal blue shirt and black tie. He smiled at Blair, who immediately moved toward his heart's desire, all thoughts of Rafe instantly vanishing. Jim slipped his hands into his pockets and casually descended the stairs, meeting Blair at the bottom. 

"Jim!" 

"Sandburg." 

"How are you?" 

"Fine. Enjoying yourself?" Jim said, nodding toward the bar. 

Blair glanced over his shoulder. Rafe lifted a glass at Blair and smiled in invitation. He held up his room key. Blair shook his head before he turned back to Jim. 

"I'm so glad to see you!" Blair exclaimed. 

Jim gave him a cool, knowing smile. "You should accept." 

"What?" Blair asked, stunned. 

"His invitation," Jim responded, nodding toward Rafe. "He's very attractive. You should accept." 

"Jim, man, please... It's not him I want, it's you!" Blair stepped closer, making Jim's face grow distant. 

"If you weren't interested, you wouldn't be here," Jim stated. 

Blair shook his head. "No. I came looking for you. Not for him! Why would you believe that? I thought after yesterday that we had something... Was I wrong? Did I misread it? My heart says you care!" Looking into the stoic face, Blair stammered, "Why don't you say something? Please, Jim!" 

"Are you falling in love with me?" Jim asked coldly, raising an eyebrow. 

"That's so not... What about you?" Blair fidgeted, glancing through dark lashes into Jim's face. "Don't you feel anything for me?" he asked quietly. 

Jim looked casually at Blair and said, "Feel for you?" He shrugged. "You're extremely attractive, Chief. I enjoy your company, but you are about as clueless as they come." Blair's mouth fell open in surprise at the harshness of Jim's words. Unable to respond, he remained silent while Jim continued. "You are made for sex, Sandburg. Your body screams for it, yet you hide behind that schoolgirl prudish attitude. You obviously came here for sex. Why try to hide it?" With a bored shrug, he added, "But when you ask me if I feel anything for you, I must admit I don't have any idea to what you are referring." 

Blair felt his face redden. He stepped closer to Jim and hissed angrily, "You pompous asshole! You are such a fucking liar. I know what you're doing! You're using me! You want me to fuck that guy so you can feel through me! So you can finally feel something! Anything! You won't do it yourself so you want to use me! You are pathetic –” 

Jim's face hardened. Before Blair could finish the sentence, Jim walked casually away. He took a seat at the nearest empty table, leaving Blair standing alone. Jim spoke to the waiter and without another look at Blair, he glanced about the room, observing the other guests. Blair's eyes narrowed. He spun on his heels and walked over to the bar. Rafe smiled warmly and when Blair held out his hand, he placed the key into the center of Blair's palm. 

"Give me fifteen minutes," Blair said. 

Rafe nodded. "With pleasure." 

Turning, Blair walked quickly from the room. He didn't acknowledge Jim's presence, but he felt the man's eyes follow him. Even after he passed through the glass doors separating the dining area from the foyer, he knew without a doubt that Jim's senses were still latched onto him. 

"You want to feel, Ellison?" he growled under his breath. "Well, then, tonight, I'm going to blow your socks off." With a cold laugh at his words, he punched the elevator button. "Tonight I'm going to finally find out what I've been missing. Fuck this eternal love shit. Screw being with somebody who cares. Tonight I start living my life any way I damn well please." 

\---------------------------------

"I'll make you forget him, if only for a little while," Rafe said softly, slipping Blair's jacket from his shoulders. "Drink?" 

Throat tight, Blair nodded. He accepted the glass of champagne from Rafe's cool hand and tossed it back. 

"Another?" Rafe asked. 

"Yeah," Blair said, holding out the glass. 

Rafe filled the glass and when Blair drank it quickly, he set the bottle aside. "I know you're nervous, but it will be okay. I promise." He moved behind Blair and put his hands on his shoulders, gently massaging the tight muscles. "Relax. I'll be gentle." Rafe leaned forward and placed a tender kiss on Blair's neck, making him shiver. 

Rafe turned Blair around and captured his mouth in a kiss. He gently and patiently pressed against the full lips until Blair's arms wrapped around Rafe's shoulders. Blair moaned softly. His body trembled and he started to respond to the amorous kisses. 

Pulling back, Rafe smiled and brushed the tip of a finger over the reddened lips. "You are so beautiful," he said softly. 

Blair smiled shakily, nodding. "Thanks." 

Rafe returned Blair's smile with a warm one of his own. His fingers slipped the elastic band from Blair's hair and carded the loosened curls. He cupped the back of Blair's head and tipped it back, gently pressing their lips together. Rafe's arm circled Blair's waist, holding him close. Finally, he released his companion and with a smile, his hands moved to finger the buttons on Blair's shirt. 

When Rafe reached out to unbutton Blair's shirt, Blair's hands covered Rafe's, stopping him. "Please..." 

"What do you want, Blair?" 

"I want..." Blair briefly closed his eyes to compose himself before he opened them and very quietly said, "I want to leave." 

Rafe's face became serious. "Hey, if that's what you want... But Blair? My offer won't be repeated. Do you understand?" 

Blair nodded. "Thanks for understanding. I just... It's not you." 

Rafe smiled. "I know. Go on." He cocked his head toward the door. 

Blair turned and grabbed his jacket. Rafe followed him to the door and before he opened it, he grabbed Blair's hand. Pulling him close, he gave him a quick kiss, opened the door and waved him through. 

Blair gave Rafe a sad smile. "Bye." 

"Take care."

"I'll try." 

Blair went back to his empty hotel room and climbed into his lonely bed. 

\------------------------------------------

Blair spent Saturday and Sunday alone. His initial happiness at the delay in his work was ruined by Jim's terse dismissal of him Friday night at the club. He stayed holed up in his hotel room, hurt by the treatment, and tried not to dwell on the fact that he had once again failed in the romance department. His heart, however, wouldn't let him alone. It kept reminding him of how Jim looked dressed in his jeans and flannel shirt when they had gone hiking and fishing. He remembered how handsome Jim looked in the black suit that hugged his body in all the right places. He thought about how Jim seemed to be drawn to him. He knew Jim felt – something for him. He knew it without a doubt! And he felt something for Jim. For the first time, he felt drawn to another person, and for the first time, he felt at home in Cascade. And the reason was undoubtedly Jim. 

But there was nothing he could do. Jim had effectively dismissed Blair's feelings without so much as a second thought. Not only that, he had definitely pushed Blair into another man's arms. And let's not forget Jim's insistence that he dance with Meg. Apparently, to Jim, as long as Blair was willing to be in anybody's arms, Jim was all for it. Blair had some pride left. He wouldn't throw himself at somebody who obviously didn't want him, no matter how much his heart ached. So he ignored his feelings and concentrated on work. 

Monday morning dawned cool and rainy. Blair was pleased that all his notes and files were in order. The call from Banks a half an hour ago informed him that the title work was completed, and final papers would be signed at eleven am. With a sigh, Blair hung up the phone after thanking Simon and immediately made a reservation to return to Phoenix at five pm that same day. No sense hanging around. His work here was almost finished. 

\-----------------------------------------

Blair and Simon sat at the conference table at Rainier University's Administration Office boardroom. They checked their final figures with Rainier's attorney, Joel Taggart, and after a bit of discussion, decided they were ready to go ahead. Now they just needed the owner and his attorney to show up for the scheduled meeting. 

With a glance at his watch, Simon shook his head. "They're half an hour late. Something must be up." 

Blair shrugged. "Maybe it's just traffic. We'll give them a bit longer before we start tracking them down." 

Simon laughed. "You are always the voice of reason, Sandburg." 

Blair smiled. "Thanks." 

"When do you fly home?" 

"Tonight." 

"I'll bet you're anxious to get out of this cold weather and back to the desert." 

"Yeah, I'll be happy to be home," Blair said tonelessly. 

Simon raised an eyebrow. "Are you okay?" 

"Yup. Just fine." 

There was a light knock before the door swung open. Blair looked up and his eyes widened. The property owner walked into the room followed by the same man that Blair had met at the club on Friday night. The same man that Jim had insisted that he fuck. Blair felt his face pale and he started to rise when Rafe looked into Blair's eyes. Rafe stopped in his tracks and Blair heard him clear his throat before glancing nervously from his client to Blair and back again to the client. 

The client asked, "Something wrong, Brian?" 

Rafe coughed into his hand. "Excuse me. I – Could my client and I have a moment?" Rafe's eyes held Blair's. Blair nodded and waved. Rafe likewise nodded before spinning on his heels and hightailing it from the room with his client closely behind him. 

When the door closed, Simon turned to Blair and asked, "What the hell was that?" 

Blair rose and after glancing at Taggart, who sat quietly observing the goings-on, he waved Simon over to the corner. "Simon, that man! The lawyer. I know him!" 

"So? That firm has a dozen lawyers. I'm sure he's competent. What's the big deal?"

Blair leaned closer to Simon and whispered, "Not, it's not that! He's the man I almost – slept with the other night! At the club over on Alvarez!" 

"What? How in the hell did you find that place?"

"Jim took me there that first night when he asked me out! Then I went back to find him on Friday night and I met Rafe! Jim showed up and practically insisted that I sleep with Rafe. I was so – hurt that I took Rafe up on his offer." Blair shifted nervously and crossed his arms against his chest. "I went up to his room and we – kissed, but before it got any further, I panicked and ran." 

"Oh, good heavens. Brian Rafe is a married man! He has a wife and three kids!" 

Blair ran a hand down his face. "Shit. Simon, believe me, I had no idea! I would never have even considered having sex with a married man! He came on so strong that I thought he was gay, or at the very least, bisexual. There was no indication that he wasn't – experienced. I'm really sorry, man. I hope this isn't going to blow the deal." 

Simon smiled and shook his head. "No way! This is good for us. We have the man trapped. He'll know that we know that he was willing to commit adultery –”

"Simon, I can't blackmail Rafe!" 

"No! Not blackmail. Hell, you won't have to say a word. I'll bet you dollars to donuts that when they come back in here, they sign the papers without so much as a by-your-leave." 

Before Blair had a chance to answer, Rafe and the client entered the room. They nodded to the occupants and sat. After the formality of greetings was exchanged, the documents were produced by Rainier's attorney. Rafe made a quick scan of the documents before he nodded to his client, who signed in the places indicated without so much as a quibble. 

Simon nudged Blair's foot under the table, making Blair's eyebrow lift slightly. Duplicate copies were signed by all the necessary parties, copies provided to buyer and seller, then Rafe rose and nodded. 

"Thank you, gentlemen," he said formally. He shook hands with the Rainier delegation, as did the seller. When he touched Blair's hand, he looked pleadingly into Blair's eyes. When Blair gave a slight, knowing smile and a small nod, Rafe huffed out a shaky breath and said, "Thanks, Dr. Sandburg." 

"Certainly," Blair said seriously. "It was a pleasure." 

Rafe blushed before he ushered his client from the room, closing the door behind him. 

"Success!" Blair cried.

Simon smiled. "That went well." 

Blair and Simon shook hands with Joel Taggart. "Thanks, Mr. Taggart. Well done." 

Taggart nodded. "You're welcome. Thanks to you and Simon, the deal went very well. I have my people looking into the other piece of property. I should be hearing from my assistant any minute." As if on cue, the attorney's cell phone rang. "Excuse me." 

Blair nodded and turned to Simon. "I enjoyed working with you, Simon." 

"I did also, Sandburg." Blair sighed, causing Simon to raise an eyebrow. "Are you okay?" 

Blair nodded. "I feel – a bit funny about the whole thing. You know, with Rafe and all." 

"Hey, you did good work, Sandburg. We didn't do anything that wasn't entirely above-board. You're worth every penny of your fee." 

"Thanks, man. I appreciate that." 

"What do you say I take you to lunch since this is your last day with us?" 

"That would be nice," Blair said with a tired smile. Rubbing his forehead, he added, "I think I'll go and find a couple of aspirin. I have a headache starting." 

Simon nodded sympathetically. "Go out and ask Mattie for some Tylenol. She keeps a bottle in her desk. We'll give Joel a few more minutes to see if he has any information about that other property, then we'll head out." 

"Thanks." Blair wandered out of the room. The purchase of the secondary property would solve Rainier's overcrowding problems for many years to come. There was already a renovation fund available for the property's overhaul, and Blair knew how important Rainier considered preserving the property in its campus area. 

"Hey, Mattie." 

"Dr. Sandburg." 

"Do you think I could have a couple of aspirin, please?" 

"Certainly. Here you go." 

"Thanks." Blair took the pills and wandered over to the water cooler. Pulling a paper cup, he filled it, tossed back the medication and sipped the cool water. 

"What?" Simon said loud enough for his voice to be heard in the outer office. 

Blair's head came up and he quickly returned to the conference room. "Simon?" 

"Shit," Simon said angrily, stalking across the room and stopping in front of Blair. "It's been sold!" 

"What?" 

"The owner sold the property this morning, for cash, no less." 

"To whom?" 

Blair glanced over at Joel, who shrugged. "The owner claims he doesn't know! A lawyer appeared at his office with a cashier's check and transfer papers. He took the check and signed the papers. The new owner is listed as a corporation." 

"Well, damn." Blair crossed his arms. "We could do a search, find out who's on the corporation's board of directors and make them an offer." 

With an exasperated sigh, Simon shook his head. "The price was way over what we can afford. The new owner paid almost twenty-five percent over appraisal! Rainier can't spend that kind of money!" 

Blair moved closer to Simon and put a hand on his arm. "Sorry, man. I'm really sorry." 

"It's not your fault, Doctor. You did a fine job." 

Blair held out his hand to Joel. "Thanks for everything." 

Joel took the hand with a smile. "It was nice to have met you. I'll look into that property when I get back to the office. See if I can find anything out." He shrugged. "You never know. Maybe the new owner is willing to sell. It doesn't hurt to ask." Joel turned to Simon and they shook hands. "Good working with you again, Simon." 

"Same, Joel. Take care." Simon nodded to Joel, who after a final goodbye, left. 

"Come on, Sandburg. Let's go and have a beer." 

Blair rolled his eyes and shrugged. "Sounds good. I have some time to kill before my plane leaves." 

"A cold brew always makes things look better." 

With a laugh, Blair grabbed his jacket and followed Simon from the building. 

\------------------------------------------------------

Blair entered his hotel room and stood in the doorway, mouth open. He glanced around, surprised at the vision before him. The entire room was filled with flowers of every description. Roses. Carnations. Lilies. Daffodils. The flowers were all pure white with vivid green foliage. Shocked, Blair walked into the center of the room and turned in a complete circle. 

"What the...?" he muttered, sniffing lightly. Instead of being overwhelming, the fragrance reminded Blair of a warm summer day in the park when all the flowers were in bloom. He looked around yet again and then he saw it. A large manila envelope on the top of the bureau. He walked over and stared down at the item. His name was scrawled across the front. Curious, he picked up the envelope and ripped away the tape. The papers inside made him hold his breath. 

The quit claim deed was made out in his name and the legal description of the property was the same as the abandoned property that Rainier was interested in purchasing and had just this morning, been sold to an unknown buyer. A further look at the other documents showed that James J. Ellison had purchased the property, and that he had indeed signed the title over to Blair J. Sandburg. 

"You can do whatever you want with it, Chief." 

Blair turned quickly. Jim stood in the open doorway, looking uncomfortable. Blair held up the papers and demanded, "Why?" 

Jim shrugged. "Because..." He took a tentative step forward. "Just because." 

Blair dropped the papers back on the dresser before he walked over to Jim. "Why, Jim?" he repeated, not willing to let such a gesture go unexplained. 

Jim looked into Blair's eyes before quickly glancing away. "I felt like it." After pushing the door closed, he casually wandered into the room, his hands shoved into his pockets. 

"Not good enough." 

Jim's face was unreadable when he retorted, "It will have to be good enough, Sandburg." 

"No." 

"No?" Jim asked, raising an eyebrow. 

"I need more, Jim. A lot more." 

Jim shifted. "That's all there is, Sandburg." 

"I don't believe that." 

Jim shrugged. "Well, that's not my problem, now, is it?" he said bitingly. 

Blair's eyes narrowed. "Fuck you, man. I'm tired of this – game!" 

"I'm not playing a game here, Sandburg!" 

Blair stepped closer. "Look at me." When Jim looked into Blair's eyes, Blair could see the battle waging there. Jim's face was schooled into blankness, but Blair could see the jaw muscle jumping with tension. Stepping even closer, but not quite touching Jim's body, Blair said, "Tell me what you want." 

Jim glanced down with a haughty look. "From you? Absolutely nothing." 

Blair bristled. "Fine. Then I'm out of here. Keep your – gift. Screw you, Ellison." Blair turned his back to Jim and after snapping the locks on his suitcase, he grabbed the handle and yanked it from the bed. Jim moved quickly. He blocked the doorway so Blair ordered, "Please move. I'm going to miss my plane." 

Jim stepped to the side, his expression cold and his eyes even colder. His hands were clenched and his body rigid. Blair walked past him without a second glance toward the door. Hand on the knob, he turned it. 

"Blair..." 

With an exasperated sigh, Blair growled, "What?" 

"I..." 

Blair glanced over his shoulder. "What do you want from me?" Dropping the suitcase, Blair stalked over to Jim. His arms crossed his chest and he hugged himself tightly. "What in the hell do you want from me? You don't want me. You don't want to touch me. You don't even talk to me as if you care!" Throwing his arms out, Blair continued. "You used me! You wanted to feel – something so you pushed me into another man's arms because you're too chicken shit to touch me yourself!" Seeing Jim's clenched teeth and twitching jaw, Blair rubbed his hands down his face. "Man, if you want something, then you have about two seconds to do something about it, or I'm out of here. Do you understand me?" Blair glared into Jim's emotionless face. Seeing the lack of response, he shook his head. "Why am I wasting my time?" he said in exasperation. Turning away, he barely took a step before two arms encircled his waist and he was pulled back against Jim's chest. 

"Jim?" Blair asked, putting his own hands over Jim's, where they were clenched together on his waist. He could feel them tremble. "Jim?" he repeated softly. 

"Don't – leave me," Jim said huskily into Blair's ear, burying his nose in the silky curls. "Please..." 

"Then touch me, Jim," Blair entreated. "Touch me like a lover; like you care!" 

Jim's hands abruptly released Blair but before he even mourned the loss of the strong grasp, he was turned around and Jim's hands held either side of his face. "Chief," Jim said softly, gazing into his eyes, "I want you so badly! God help me, but from the moment I set eyes on you, all I've wanted is you." 

Blair watched, eyes wide, as Jim's face moved closer. "Jim!" he managed to blurt out before Jim closed the gap, leaned down slightly and pressed their lips together in an initial tender kiss. 

Blair moaned softly at the touch. His arms wrapped around Jim's waist while Jim's arms moved to encircle his shoulders. Once they were in each other's embrace, they kissed more amorously. The kisses soon became more passionate and deep, and each man vied for dominance. Blair finally dragged his mouth away first, panting heavily. 

"Clothes," he whispered through swollen lips. "Off." 

Jim nodded, eyes bright. "Yes." 

Hands flying, they each yanked off jackets before hastily unbuttoning each other's shirts and unzipping pants. Blair held onto Jim's arm for balance while he toed off his shoes. Jim followed suit and pants were quickly shed. With only boxers left, Blair suddenly felt shy. 

"Jim..." 

"Chief?" 

"I'm... We need to talk." 

"Now?" Jim's voice cracked. 

"Sorry," Blair whispered. "Sorry. I know. It's a mood-breaker but... Please? Can we sit for a minute and – regroup?" 

"Of course." 

With a smile, Blair climbed onto the bed and waggled his fingers. "Come here," he invited softly. 

Jim solemnly slipped onto the bedspread and joined Blair to lean against the headboard. His gaze found Blair's and he blurted out, "You're – beautiful!" 

"You sound surprised. I'm sure you've had lots of beautiful bedmates." 

"I didn't... I've never... Oh, shit. This is definitely not how..." 

Blair's eyes widened. "Jim! Are you saying... that you're not – experienced?" Jim turned his face away. Blair could see the tips of his ears redden. "Jim? It's okay. Tell me, please." 

"It's embarrassing! I can't..." 

"If it helps, I'll tell you my dirty little secret first. Okay?" When Jim nodded, Blair smiled and put a hand on Jim's arm. "I'm a virgin." 

Jim stared at Blair for a moment before he scooted away and swung his legs over the side of the bed. He started to rise, but Blair's hand on his arm stopped him. "Jim?"

"Sandburg, I saw you! I heard you! You went up to that bedroom with – that man!" 

"You were listening," Blair said accusingly. "Well, eavesdropping is one thing, Jim, but you didn't bother to listen quite long enough!" When Jim remained silent, Blair demanded, "You didn't stay until the end, did you?" Jim finally shook his head. "Why, Jim? Why did you want me to have sex with him?" When Jim didn't respond, Blair asked, "Was it because you were trying to feel something? That you were using me as a – conduit for your feelings? Your senses?" Blair saw Jim's body suddenly tense. "Hey, it's okay. I know about the senses. I know yours are heightened. I'm not sure how much, or even why, but I – figured it out." 

"How?" Jim asked tersely, rising. He kept his back to Blair, and his body language screamed his distress to Blair's observant eyes. 

"I watched you, man. You don't know this, but I studied anthropology for years. I know how to observe people." Blair chuckled. "Man, you're as transparent as a pane of glass. At least to me." 

Jim glanced over his shoulder at Blair and growled, "Are you laughing at me?" 

Blair rolled his eyes. "No, Jim. I'm not laughing at you. I think you're fantastic. Just think!" He rose to his knees. "You have hyperactive senses. How cool is that? You obviously have discovered ways to control them, although I think that you kind of go over the edge with the bottling plant and not eating in restaurants, but I understand! I also think that with some practice, I can help you gain control of them so that you can function more normally. What do you say?" Blair bounced on the bed. "Is that something you'd like to explore?" 

"I thought I was the only one..." Jim said hesitantly. 

"What? With heightened senses?" At Jim's nod, Blair rose and stood before him. Tugging on Jim's arm, he led his companion back to the bed and encouraged him to sit. He paced while he explained, "No, man. You're not the only one. There are lots of people with acute senses. Wine tasters. Chefs. Perfume testers –”

"Yeah, but..." Jim scowled. 

"But nobody you've ever heard of with all five?" Blair asked, tentatively searching for validation of his observations. 

"Yeah," Jim finally offered. 

"That's because most of the research is long-gone. Sir Richard Burton's writings were all but destroyed. Only a bit of his Sentinel research survives –”

"Sentinel?" 

"Yeah, man. In primitive cultures, every tribe had a Sentinel – a guardian with five heightened senses. Someone chosen with a genetic advantage. You're it, Jim. A Sentinel."

"There's a name for it?"

"Definitely. And every Sentinel had a partner to help control his gifts. To watch his back. Keep him safe." 

"Why?" 

"Think about it! The guardian's the most valuable member of the tribe. He finds game, senses weather changes, alerts the tribe to dangers. He gives the tribe their edge, but he's somewhat – vulnerable to his surroundings. He can become overloaded. If he zones – that's what it's called, the zone out factor – in front of the enemy or a hungry predator, then he's toast." 

Jim's face brightened a bit. "So you've read about people – like me? And you think I'm one of these – Sentinels?" 

"Yes." 

"So will you – help me?" 

"Oh, man. I'd love to! I have some definite ideas about how to proceed." At Jim's raised eyebrow, Blair added, "We'll do experiments –” 

"On me? You want to experiment on me?" Jim asked tensely. 

Blair looked amused. "Well... yes." At Jim's scowl, Blair explained, "I think it's important for you to learn to turn things on and off. I want to help you do that so you won't have to be so – influenced from outside stimuli. I think the key is control." 

"Control. That's what I do. I control my environment so that I can control the senses." 

Blair nodded. "True, but right now, they pretty much control you. Let's turn that around. What do you say?"

Blair waited impatiently while Jim's eyes examined his face with intensity. He finally cleared his throat and said quietly, "I say... I think I'm falling in love with you." 

Blair's face broke into a huge grin. "Oh, man. That's so cool! Because I know I'm falling in love with you. And Jim, about the other night... I didn't – finish what I started. I couldn't! All I wanted was you. I went up to that room with Rafe because I was so pissed at you for pushing me at him! I wanted to teach you a lesson, but all I did was realize that I couldn't go through with it. I didn't want him, I wanted you." Blair smiled. "And I still do," he added, glancing down at his boxers. His erection had faded. "Well, I did before I turned all clinical on you," he said with a chuckle. "We can fix that, I'm sure." 

Jim finally laughed. "I feel the same way," he said. "I know it wouldn't take much for me to... revive. So..." 

"So... About the sex thing. I'm inexperienced. You're inexperienced. We'll have a great time figuring this whole thing out. If you want to, that is." 

"I want to," Jim said enthusiastically, "but…" 

Blair groaned. "Another but?" 

"It's not that I haven't tried. I have, several times, but I have – allergies. No condoms; no sex. That's been the rule for a long time now." 

"And of course, with you having reactions to just about everything, you didn't look for a solution, you just avoided the activity." 

"Right," Jim ground out. 

Blair looked at Jim for a moment before he asked, "Was it terrible?" 

Nodding, Jim said, "You have no idea. I was with this woman and we were all hot and heavy. I rolled on the condom, and it was only a matter of seconds before I had a reaction. Talk about pain! I had this burning..." 

Blair sympathetically covered his own genitals with his hand. "Oh, man. How awful!" 

"Tell me about it." 

"After I was laid up for a week from the hives, I was kind of put off trying again." 

"How long ago was that?" 

"Don't ask." 

"That long?" 

Jim shrugged. "I've had a few mutual hand jobs, and sometimes I... you know, do it myself, but otherwise... I've avoided contact. Ever since I was a kid..." 

"Wow. So you were born with them. Is it better or worse now?" 

"It's gotten worse as the years past. Finally, it became easier to avoid as much sensory input as possible. That's why I only eat and drink certain things. I'm okay as long as I'm careful, but sometimes, it's so hard!" 

"We have to trust each other or this won't work." 

Jim nodded slowly. "I understand the concept, but Chief, it's been years since I had anybody even close to me. I don't know if I can do it, but if you're willing to work with me, I'd like to try." 

Blair smiled. He wrapped his arm around Jim's waist. "I'd love to try, Jim. And I'm honored you trust me enough to give it a go. So what do you like?" he asked invitingly

"You mean other than mint chocolate ice cream?" Jim asked in a voice full of happiness. 

\-----------------------------------------

Blair pulled down the bedspread and after plumping up two pillows, he set them against the headboard. He climbed onto the bed and sat with his legs crossed. "Come here," he said with a smile, patting the linen pillowcase before suggestively stroking it. "I have plans for you." 

Jim's eyes widened and he silently nodded. Crawling over to where Blair sat, he lay back against the pillows and waited. 

"Nice," Blair said, touching Jim's chest with a single finger. "You let me know if anything bothers you. Okay?" 

"I'll – try." 

"Jim, man, it will be all right." Blair chewed on his lower lip for a moment before he said, "Picture something you can control – a dial. You can control the intensity of your senses. Dial it up if you say, want to feel more, or down if it's too much. With practice, I'm sure you'll start to do it automatically. But for tonight, we'll take it easy." Blair grinned evilly. "That is, until you're ready. Then it's full speed ahead." 

Jim nodded and gave a weak smile. "Okay. Sounds simple enough." 

Blair saw the hesitation. He moved closer and leaned down. "We'll start with a nice kiss first, and see how it goes." 

"You don't have to be so careful, Chief. That first kissing session was pretty darned good." 

Blair chuckled. "Oh, yeah, right. Okay." 

Moving even closer, Blair put a hand on Jim's shoulder and pressed his lips to Jim's. He tasted the warm flesh for a long minute before pulling back slightly and swiping his tongue across the tender skin. When Jim's mouth opened, Blair carefully slipped the tip of his tongue between Jim's lips. The very tip of Jim's tongue met his, making him grin for a moment before he covered the welcoming mouth with his own. As he slid a hand around the back of his lover's neck, his kisses became more ardent. His tongue happily explored and Jim's small moans of pleasure spurred him on. Pulling away, Blair smiled, cupping Jim's cheek in his palm. 

"God, Jim... You taste so good!" 

Jim lifted a hand to wipe the pad of his thumb across Blair's lower lip. "You too, Chief. Very good." 

"Was that okay?" 

"Better than okay." 

"Cool," Blair replied, returning to Jim's mouth with renewed vigor. 

Kissing deeply, Blair opened his mouth and invited Jim in. Jim's tongue entered tentatively at first before becoming bolder. Soon he was tasting the depths of his lover's mouth. While Jim explored, Blair did also. His hand slid down Jim's chest and he rested his palm against one of the light brown nipples. When the nub pebbled under his hand, he rolled the flesh between his finger and thumb, eliciting a deep groan from Jim. 

Moving his mouth away from Jim's, Blair gently bent Jim's head to the side, exposing his neck. He kissed his way down the inviting skin and across his lover's collarbone. Leaving a trail of tiny, wet kisses on Jim's chest, he suckled the hardened nipple, humming happily. 

Jim pushed up into Blair's mouth while pressing against the back of his head. "Blair!" he cried. 

Blair increased the suction while his fingers found the other nipple. Not willing to ignore it, he fingered the skin while attending to the nipple in his mouth. Gently, he nibbled the hardened nub, making Jim once again shout with pleasure. Blair released the nipple with a loud slurp and glanced into his lover's face. 

Jim's head was thrown back; his eyes closed. His hands were now clenched around the sheets and a glance downward showed Blair that his penis was full and dripping. Knowing that Jim wasn't used to this much sensory input, and not wanting to overload him this first time, Blair kissed Jim's nipple before he slid down his body to straddle Jim's thighs. On his knees, he tapped his mate's hips. 

"Lift up, lover." 

Jim dazedly followed orders, lifting his hips so that Blair could slip the boxers down. He pushed the cloth down as far as he could with his hands before using his foot to shove them to Jim's ankles. With a chuckle, Blair realized that Jim was already so deep into pleasure that he didn't even move to kick off the boxers. With a shrug, Blair lowered his mouth toward the rosy, dripping head.

"Going to lick you," Blair said warningly. 

"Uh huh," was Jim's reply. 

Chuckling again, Blair's tongue snaked out and he dabbed the tip into the liquid hovering around the slit. Licking his lips, he smiled. "Nice." He returned to his prize, carefully placing tiny licks around the slit before thoroughly licking the cap. 

Jim's moans came unceasingly. Blair cast a glance upward and paused, examining Jim's reaction intently. He closed his eyes and smiled, feeling incredibly happy. Jim was enjoying Blair's ministrations. Further inspection showed that his lover's skin was clear and warm. His face was slack with pleasure. Blair's touch wasn't being rejected. In fact, from his careful observations, the man was thoroughly enjoying the new experience. 

With a satisfied smile, Blair placed a kiss on Jim's hip bone before moving back to relish his lover's erection. When he sucked the head of his lover's penis into his mouth and used his tongue to caress the underside, Jim let out a small cry. The flesh in Blair's mouth swelled even more and before he had time to think about withdrawing, Jim spurted hot come into Blair's throat. 

Gallantly, Blair tried to swallow the flood, but the orgasm was strong. In spite of his efforts, Blair finally pulled away and milked the still spurting organ with his hand, murmuring words of encouragement to his lover. 

"God, Jim... You are so beautiful! That's it... Give me everything... Feels so good, doesn't it?" 

"Blair!" Jim cried, finally bonelessly sinking into the mattress. "Oh, God..." Eyes closed, he panted harshly for a few moments before forcing his eyes to open. "Come here," he whispered. 

Blair wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. Grinning, he crawled up Jim's body. "Was it okay?" 

Nodding and grinning foolishly, Jim blurted, "Okay? Okay? It was wonderful!" 

"Good. Glad to be of service," Blair said smartly, placing his hands on his lover's shoulders while straddling his chest. "Nothing seemed to bother you." 

"Nope. It was all good. Want to touch you." Jim reached out his hand, wrapping strong fingers around Blair's full penis. 

"Jim!" Blair shouted, thrusting into the hot tunnel of Jim's hand. 

"That's it, Chief," Jim encouraged, fisting the hardness. "That's good. Do it. Come for me. Only me." 

"Jimjimjim," Blair chanted, hips thrusting. "Going to... Jim!" he cried, come shooting hard enough to splatter against the muscled chest. "Oh, shit!" 

Jim laughed. "Blair, you are mine." 

Blair collapsed against Jim's chest, grinning. "Sounds good to me." He panted against the warm skin for a long minute before he groaned and slipped to lay along side his lover. "I'm a mess," he acknowledged with a contented sigh. 

"Mmmmm," Jim responded, slipping an arm around Blair's shoulders and pulling him tightly against his side. "How do you feel?" 

Blair considered briefly before he said softly, "Whole." 

"Whole?" Jim asked. "Not wonderful or satisfied or pleased?" 

Blair smiled. "Trust me, Jim, feeling whole is a good thing. A very, very good thing." 

Jim smiled in return. "Okay. Good, then. Glad you're feeling – whole." With a chuckle, he placed a kiss on the top of Blair's head and murmured, "Love you, Chief." 

"Love you, too." Sinking against Jim's warm body, he relaxed totally. In a few minutes, he started to drift off to sleep. Rousing himself, he looked into his lover's face. 

Jim's eyes were closed and his breathing soft and regular. After watching his lover for a few minutes, he smiled. He'd found a new favorite past time: watching his lover sleep. He enjoyed his new hobby for a few more minutes before he finally forced his lethargic body from the bed and stumbled to the bathroom. After washing the worst of the semen from his skin, he wet a washcloth with warm water and grabbed a towel. 

Back at the side of the bed, he smiled yet again at the satisfied, peaceful look on his sleeping partner. Gently, he wiped Jim's body before drying it. Jim never woke, but he did mumble and turn over to his side, curling up. Blair smiled down at the innocent face of his new lover before he went into the bathroom to toss the washcloth and towel into the tub. After drinking a glass of water, he returned to the bed. Slipping in quietly, he wrapped his body around his mate, pressing his chest to Jim's back and wrapping an arm around the slim waist. With a final kiss to Jim's shoulder blade, he whispered, "Sleep well, my love. You're going to need your strength, because when you wake up, man, I have a lot more experiments to try. And I still want to know what it's like to make love to you. In fact, I'm looking forward to it. Man, I'm glad I waited for you, because I know it's going to be worth every minute I had to wait. Love you, Jim." 

"Chief?" Jim asked sleepily. 

"Did I wake you?" 

"I was just – drifting along... Did you say something?" 

"Only that I love you." 

"Me, too." Jim was silent for a moment before he quietly said, "Thanks." 

"Any time, man. It's my pleasure. Night." 

"Good night, Rocky."

"Rocky?"

"Yeah. You're my rock. My anchor. My harbor –” 

"Geez, Jim, that's ah, nice. Flowers. Sweet nothings. Real estate. So you're a romantic. I like this Jim a whole lot!" Blair said teasingly, planting a kiss on Jim's shoulder. 

Jim chuckled softly and laced his fingers with Blair's. "Only for you, Chief. Only for you." He kissed the back of his fingers before he wiggled once to settle in. In moments, he was still. 

Blair closed his eyes, the smile still plastered on his face. He now knew that he'd finally found what he needed in his life to be fulfilled. His light, what made him feel complete, was Jim Ellison. With a happy sigh and a last yawn, Blair joined his lover in sleep. 

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End file.
